- On air: The Alex Zane Breakfast Show
- DJ: Alex Zane
On The Show
This is where you'll find out exactly what's happening on the Xfm Breakfast Show - special guests, big competitions, the whole bloody lot.
The Xfm Breakfast Show with Alex Zane is on Xfm Monday to Friday from 06.00-10.00.
Coming Up This Week
Monday: Alex Zane's Celebrity Bing Bong
In a radio first, Alex, Pete and Marc use their natural gift for mimickery to act out celberty guests at a party. Guess what they all are you could win a prize. Not in any way affiliated with Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong or Whose Line Is It Anyway? Honest
Tuesday: Question Marc
Ask Marc a question and let his expensive public school education provide you with the answer.
Wednesday: Through The Plughole
Every Wednesday at 8am we'll have a special guest on the phone to the breakfast show. Will it be Dave Grohl? Will it be Matt Bellamy? Or will it be Cameron from Big Brother 4? You don't know, and neither do Alex and the team, but they'll have 60 seconds to try and figure it out by asking any yes-or-no question that they want.
Thursday: Songy Song Song
The team make up a song one word at a time based around a theme suggested by you. The goal, like all great folk music, to tell a story through the medium of song - on what othe radio feature could you hear claims that Macca likes lawyers in fishnets or that Republican presidential candidate John Mcain wears suits he finds in quarries?
Friday: Roger Barton
Fresh (this very morning, ladies and gentlemen) from the mean streets of Billingsgate Fish Market is the moustachioed, leather Stetson wearin’, all rootin’, all tootin’ Roger Barton. Hear the archive of his call in the Breakfast Show Podcast.
CREATE YOUR OWN SHAKESPEAREAN INSULTS!
Prompted by a texter discusing safe euphemisms to use when swearing isn't appropriate, Alex has been doing some research into the history of swearwords, and the roots of his own foul mouth...
Did you know that Prat used to mean Bottom and because Meccano sets used to come into two varities "Box Standard" and "Box Deluxe" - we got the phrases "Bog Standard" and the "Dog's Bo****ks"... interesting, no?
Anyway, if you want to insult someone in a knowing literary manner try using this Shakespearean Insult Generator Alex found... literally minutes of fun to be had!
Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":
Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated jolthead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
quailing motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlet
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
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schedule
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now: 6:00AM - 9:00AM
Join Alex Zane weekdays from 6. Alex will get you out of bed with decent music and interesting guests. Text him on 83xfm (std network rate).
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next: 9:00AM - 1:00PM
Rick brings you an hour of the Xlist plus the best new music and some random stuff too. Text Rick on 83xfm (std network).